It’s Tuesday, the day to take the trash out to the curb. You’re running late to work, and your wife has told you a few times to not forget the trash. You huff at her and reassure her tersely saying, “I’ll get it. Don’t worry!”. You go to work, have a busy day, and then come home. Your heart sinks as you realize you never did take the trash out this morning. Oh no! I forgot. I wonder if she noticed, I bet she didn’t. You scheme and think, how can I avoid telling her. If I move the trash cans around maybe she won’t notice.
It’s Thursday, and all week you’ve been taking out the trash from the house as quick as possible. You don’t want her to see how full the trash is, or smell it. Boy, does it stink. You’re doing great though, the conversation hasn’t gone to the trash…. maybe she won’t notice. Only a few more days. If you can make it to the weekend, you should be good. Maybe we had a lot of trash this week.
Friday after work you’re relaxing, and she asks, “Hun, I noticed the trash was really full, did you take it out this week?” You avoid eye contact and mutter, “no” quickly. Too bad, she heard you. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks. Trying to think of an answer, you say “I didn’t want to disappoint you”. The ensuing conversation doesn’t have anything to do with you not disappointing her, it has everything to do with you disappointing her.
Taking this example, imagine it’s a client or your boss who asked you to complete a task. You weren’t able to do it, and you start avoiding. You hope no one notices, and you scurry around getting your work done. If you can only make it a few more days it won’t matter anymore. Maybe no one will notice.
Stop it! Stop hiding. It is very rarely a good idea to withhold bad news. Share bad news immediately, or before it happens. Share possible bad news! If you think you may not finish something on time, communicate as soon as you think of it. Don’t wait until the last minute. Take driving home for example. You say you’ll be home at 6, and it is a 15 minute drive. At 5:46 when you are still at the office, you’re late. Pick up the phone, call home, and say, “I’ll be late.” Don’t call at 6:05 and say, “I’m late”. It’s no longer news.
It is in your best interest to share bad news as soon as you can. When you do this, you are the one who gets to share the news. If you wait long enough, people will find out and your fears will be realized. You’ll get in trouble for being late on that project. You knew you would get scolded, you didn’t tell your boss you’d be late, and now you’re being scolded. See, I’m late and this is what happens!
Don’t wait till the last minute, immediately share bad news. Allow the other person to plan ahead based on the information you gave them. Waiting only protects you, and it’s selfish, lazy, and a bad idea.
Chris, you are really good at this, I did have to giggle at times:)
LOve you