Notes vs. Face to Face
I wrote a frustrated note today to our neighbor. It said something like "Please take responsibility for your dog. It was in our yard today. It tore the pond liner. When I try to take it back home it BITES me. Please send me your contact information. If you don't come get your dog within 1/2 hour next time it crosses the fence I'm calling animal control."
Then, I lassoed the dog by getting a strap around it's neck and proceeded to take it to the neighbor's. Once I got there... I realized that the neighbor was home. I took the note I had written and folded it up and went to knock on the door. When she answered, I didn't say "Please take responsibility for your dog." I said something more like, "Hey, your dog was in our yard..." and we proceeded to have a nice conversation about how the dog tries to bite, gets under the fence. Our neighbor is helpless and she's trying to find a new home for the dog.
I realized that as I took the note to the door I would be embarrassed to give the note to the neighbor face to face. It was meant to attach her and I wrote it out of frustration. Sure, there was an issue at hand; the issue wasn't grave enough to jeopardize a civil relationship.
Why is writing the note so much different than face to face? Why can't I write a civil note when frustrated when I can have a civil conversation while frustrated?
